Failing to get a job you felt you were perfect for, and which you thought you’d interviewed great for, is a heart-breaking experience. I’ve written how that happened to me last year and it threw me off my job-hunting game for months.

So how do you pick yourself up and quickly recover from a failed effort to get a job you thought was yours? I saw some good advice about that recently on the Ivyexec.com blog. Th advice of the career coach there reminds me of the old date break-up line, it’s not you, it’s me.

How did I not get that job? Losing out on a spot you thought was ideal can be frustrating beyond belief.

“Yes, a little self-reflection is important and indeed helpful. Look back at your resume, your interview, your various interactions with the decision-makers and ask yourself what you could have done differently. There’s always room for improvement,” writes career expert Chrissy Scivicque. “But recognize that sometimes it’s not about you at all.”

First among the reasons she mentions is that an internal candidate was in the running, and favored, for the job all along. I’m was wondering if that’s what happened to me last year but I recently saw who got the job instead of me, and that wasn’t the case.

Moving on from losing a job you thought might be a great fit for you is very difficult, but this piece will help you, so I’d advise reading, and believing, it.

John N.Frank